Rethinking “The Glue” in Leadership

Every family has its own structure—unspoken roles, rhythms, and the people who quietly hold everything together. In my family, I’ve been called “the glue” more times than I can count. But recently, that phrase—be the glue—gave me pause. It led me to wonder: What does it really mean to be the glue, and how does that connect to leadership?

In my experience, glue connects what matters most. Strong leaders bring people together—students, staff, and families—who might otherwise remain disconnected. I’ve seen this over and over again, both in life and in the schools I’ve been part of. Leadership, at its core, is about creating connections to the work, the world, and to each other.  They build trust through consistency, authenticity, and a clear sense of purpose. 

Glue also creates stability. It holds things in place while growth happens, and sometimes it provides steadiness when everything else feels like it’s falling apart. In the same way, effective leaders offer consistency in expectations, culture, and vision—even in uncertain times.

However, glue doesn’t work without preparation and intention. Leadership requires a foundation of trust, clarity, and strong relationships. Without these, even the best ideas, initiatives, or changes will fail to stick. Leaders must invest the time and care up front.  Most importantly, glue works quietly. The strongest bonds are often the least visible. Effective leaders don’t seek the spotlight; instead, they build systems, nurture people, and create conditions for success behind the scenes. They trust others, celebrate shared success, and find fulfillment not in recognition, but in the impact of the work itself.

Being the glue—whether in a family, among friends, or within a school—can be both rewarding and exhausting. Glue was never meant to carry an entire structure on its own.  That's a lot of pressure-physically, emotionally, mentally.  Leaders who feel responsible for fixing everything often become overwhelmed, stretching themselves too thin and losing sight of their own well-being.  Sometimes, being “the glue” can even make us rigid—holding too tightly to what is, rather than embracing what could be. 

As leaders, we must resist the urge to do it all. Our role is not to fix everything, but to empower others. True leadership isn’t about holding everything together alone—it’s about creating the conditions where others are strong enough to hold it together, too.

Beautifully Broken: An Educator's Reflection from the Beach

On a recent vacation, I made a deliberate choice to walk on the beach each day. I wanted to take in the sounds of the waves, and I’ve always found joy in discovering unique shells and treasures washed ashore.

During one of those walks, however, something different caught my attention—the abundance of broken seashells scattered along the shoreline. At first glance, they seemed fragile and incomplete. Yet, the longer I observed them, the more they began to reflect something deeper: the quiet resilience of educators.

Like seashells, educators are shaped by constant pressure. Shells are formed over time, built layer upon layer, influenced by tides, currents, and storms. In much the same way, educators develop their practice through years of experience—refining their craft through challenges, feedback, and ever-changing demands. Each layer represents growth, even when it is formed under stress.  When shells break, they do not disappear—they transform. The waves smooth their rough edges, and their fragments become part of something larger: sand, shoreline, or habitat.  

Broken seashells may appear imperfect, but there is undeniable beauty in that imperfection. Each one carries unique patterns and textures that tell the story of where it has been.  Educators are no different.  They encounter moments of strain, setbacks, and even burnout. Yet these experiences often reshape rather than diminish them. They adapt, recalibrate, and return with renewed insight, empathy, and strength that benefits both their students and colleagues.  

Even in their brokenness, shells continue to serve a purpose. They provide shelter for small sea creatures and contribute to the ecosystem in ways that are not always visible. Educators do the same. In difficult seasons, they continue to show up, support others, and make an impact—often in quiet, unseen, yet deeply meaningful ways.

You may be feeling:

Chipped.  Cracked.  Fragile.  Broken.  Weathered. Washed Up.

But you are also:

Strong.  Sturdy.  Flexible.  Timeless.  Refined. Transformed. 

And exactly where you need to be for students.

Welcome to Cultivate Your Coaching

For the past 31 years, education has been at the heart of my work. Along the way, writing has quietly become part of the journey too. Over the past two decades, I’ve dabbled in a variety of writing projects—from children’s books and parenting blogs to educational grants and teacher tools. Each one has given me an opportunity to share ideas, tell stories, and hopefully make life a little easier for the people doing the important work of teaching and learning. 

These days, my primary role is serving as a full-time instructional coach, where I have the privilege of working alongside educators to strengthen practice and build professional capacity. When I’m not coaching, you’ll probably find me folding laundry, watching baseball, or holding a cup of coffee that I fully intend to drink while it’s still hot (with mixed success). 

Somewhere between those moments, I also find time for writing, speaking, and providing professional development for schools and individuals who are passionate about growth. Much of my work centers on helping individuals and teams develop capacity, confidence, and self-directedness—the kinds of qualities that lead to lasting growth and meaningful change. 

 If you’re looking for practical strategies, coaching insights, or a little inspiration, I hope you’ll visit often. 

Welcome—I’m glad you’re here.